September 10, 2020
Photo Credit: Stefan Rodriguez | Unsplash
I’ve had anxiety for about as long as I can remember. When I was a child, I was terrified of pretty much everything from a bear coming in through my window at night to a tornado coming along and destroying everything. I lived in upstate New York, where tornados were not exactly an ongoing concern, and looking back I can see that this was just the start of my battle with this mental illness.
I tried exercise to help. I tried detaching from technology. I tried ignoring it. I tried everything. Some things lessened it, but nothing ever made it go entirely away.
Finally in 2018, I went on antidepressants but that was to help my depression, not so much the anxiety because at that point I saw the depression as a far bigger obstacle. They did help the anxiety, but it was still there, always watching.
It was the autumn of 2019 and I kept hearing about CBD, but I was skeptical. It was really starting to blow up so I did some research and decided it certainly wouldn’t hurt if nothing else.
So it is November of 2019. I am in my last semester of college before I started student teaching and I had just received my acceptance letter for my top choice master’s program. I should be ecstatic! I’m almost a college graduate and I was accepted into my top choice! Instead I feel the knot inside of my chest continuing to tighten more and more until it feels like I am suffocating.
A few days before this, I had done my research and ordered my first bottle of CBD oil off of Amazon. This was back in the days before the pandemic when Amazon still had two day shipping so I received my package quickly.
I opened my package and this new and hopeful product was in my hands. I tried CBD oil for the first time that night and I haven’t looked back since.
Every day, I take a small amount in the morning to calm my nerves for the day. And if I’m feeling overwhelmed later in the day I take another small dose.
The effects are amazing. I am human and I still feel stressed out and overwhelmed and anxious, but CBD has become a weapon against my anxiety and that has made all the difference in the world.
